A friend of mine recently sent me an article from the New York Times entitled, Is Resilience Overrated?  As I read the article, I reflected on the many ways that people define resilience.  I looked up the word resilience and found this definition: “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” 

Yes, I thought, if that is how one defines resilience, I can see where a person might think that resiliency is overrated.

I agree that the ability to bounce back from adversity is a hallmark of resilience, but the strategies that one uses to bounce back can make the difference between resilience feeling fatiguing and resilience being uplifting.  I consider myself to be a very resilient person, but the word “toughness” is not part of my working definition of the word.

Long-term resilience involves being able to integrate difficult experiences and then respond skillfully.  But just how, you might ask, does one do that?

To begin, I would like to talk about what resilience is not.  Truthfully, when adversity hits, I oftentimes try my “not resilient” strategies first. Here is what “not resilience” looks like for me: Telling myself there is no problem.  Compulsively doing things that distract me from the problem.  Trying to look on the bright side of things to avoid feeling difficult feelings.  Repeat.  When I experience something challenging in my life, I oftentimes practice “not resilience” until I become too anxious or too tired to continue.  Then, I surrender to reality and turn toward my resiliency toolkit. 

My resilience toolkit includes the following:

1. Talking with friends
2. Journaling
3. Getting angry and sad and scared and messy
4. Cloaking myself with kindness and compassion
5. Practicing yoga or exercising to get into my body and out of my head
6. Spending time in nature
7. Gathering resources
8. Continuing to take steps forward, often with the support of friends
9. Beginning to hope, take in the good, and see silver linings
10. Experiencing another setback
11. Repeat

This resilience toolkit creates resilience that is both sustainable and uplifting.  It is something that I can go back to again and again when life gets messy and hard.  Setbacks in life are inevitable, and a supportive resilience toolkit cannot be overrated.

On this Juneteenth, Wholly Mindful would like to share its intention to support safety and equity for all Black people and individuals with colored bodies. As a member of a privileged group, I (Jamie Lynn), am seeking to continue to learn and grow as an individual, listen to the voices of those with diverse experiences, and support the growth of others, including those who can be allies on the road to positive social change.

I have recently been reading a book entitled, Mindful of Race, written by Ruth King.  Ms. King is an individual who has faced double discrimination, both as an African American woman and as a lesbian.  In her book, she offers a framework for creating racial justice that uses a three pronged approach: becoming aware of our racial identities (as individuals and as a collective group), cultivating equanimity in relation to what arises (practicing mindfulness and compassion), and then creating a culture of care through wise action. 

I'm sure that many of you, like me, have been wondering how you can effectively help to create equity, safety and well-being for all people with colored bodies.  A foundational step that Ms. King suggests is creating racial affinity groups that explore their own individual and collective racial narratives and group identities.  I will be organizing a racial affinity group that will begin this July, 2020.  Members of the group will be encouraged to read Ruth King's book, Mindful of Race, and meet once monthly over the course of a year to learn and grow both collectively and as individuals.  If you would like to be a part of this group, you can E-mail me at jamielynn@whollymindful.com.  

I form this group not as an expert, but as a fellow traveler.  Years of anti-racist education at UW-M moved me from color blindness to understanding the many overt and covert ways that race creates barriers for some and privilege for others.  It is only through continued growth and collective action over time that the intention to decrease oppression and increase equity can transform into enduring change.

Know justice.  Know peace.

"Not everything that is faced can be changed.  But nothing can be changed until it is faced." -James Baldwin

We are in the midst of a pandemic.  Let’s imagine that you sit still to practice mindfulness – the simple art of non-judgmental awareness.  You observe your breathing.  You notice that your breathing is tight and that your body is tense.  You feel anxious.

What do you do next?  Do you continue to sit and observe?  Do you label your emotions?  Do you get up and do something else? What is a wise and compassionate response to an observation of a body and a mind filled with stress?

It can be a skillful choice to call a friend, journal, or go for a walk.  We might practice art, spend time in nature or dance.  It can also be a wonderful choice to practice yoga.  Yoga is an excellent way to calm the nervous system because it links the mind and the body together through the power of breath and movement.  When we intentionally slow down our bodies and our breathing, we often slow down and calm our mind. 

This story begins with an essential element—the power of observation. But what we do when we notice distress - whether we continue observing, try to ignore it, or take an action to intentionally calm our nervous system - is up to us.  Small positive choices can make a big difference over time.

Want to experiment with linking movement and breathing?  Notice how slow, intentional movements affect the state of your body and mind.